BERIKAN AKU WAKTU

Enam bulan telah berlalu
Dan waktu itu seakan tak cukup untuk membuatmu melihatku
Hatimu yang seperti es batu
Dingin dan keras
Sulit untuk dicairkan dan ditaklukkan
Sikapmu kaku dan beku
Sedikit kehangatan yang terpancar darimu,tapi tak pernah sedikitpun itu untukku
Saat aku ada bahkan kau tak ingin berada di sana
Maafkan bila kehadiranku ini mengganggumu
Aku hanya ingin kau tahu dengan baik bagaimana diriku
Lihatlah aku dengan cara berbeda,jangan hanya dengan sebelah mata
Berikan aku kesempatan untuk menunjukkan padamu bagaimana aku sebenarnya
Di sisa waktu yang ada ini 
Aku hanya ingin kau tau,dan mengerti
Bahwa kau tak seharusnya bersikap sedingin itu padaku selama ini..

PERBEDAAN

Perbedaan..

Begitu banyak yang ada antara aku dan dirimu

Aku terjebak dalam keadaan yang begitu sulit sekarang…

Parah..kenapa aku bisa mencintaimu selebay ini y?

aku gila,aku strez,aku senang,aku sedih…

semuanya karenamu

Walaupun kita memiliki keyakinan yang beda,

perasaanku tak bisa dipaksa untuk bisa melupakanmu.

Aku sudah berusaha untuk memiliki perasaan untuk “yang lain”

Aku berusaha untuk bisa mengubur perasaanku padamu

Dan saat aku hampir berhasil melupakanmu,pikiran tentangmu kembali lagi

seakan kau tak bisa dienyahkan dari hidupku..

Pernah aku bertanya pada ayah ibuku

Bolehkah aku punya pasangan beda keyakinan??

Dan jawabannya jelas tidak!!

Hancur aku mendengar itu,karena aku sangat2 mengharapkanmu

Kenapa y kita harus sebeda ini??

Kau juga teramat jauh dariku„..

Dan akupun juga tak bisa dekat denganmu..

Karena kutahu itu sulit untukku

Berdiri dihadapanmu saja aku gugup

Apalagi harus mengajakmu bicara..

Aku hanya bisa memandangimu dari jauh

Aku seperti orang tolol..

Aku tak bisa melakukan apa2 untuk bisa dekat denganmu

Karena aku bodoh..tak tau caranya untuk bisa mengenalmu lebih dekat

Sial…kenapa aku yang sakit?

Kenapa juga aku yang berurai air mata..

Bodoh.!!Tolol!!Kurang kerjaan!!

Aku bisa tiba2 menangis saat mengingatmu..

disudut kamarku yang dingin aku sering merenung..

Memikirkan nasibku yang seperti ini

Mungkinkah kau tau perasaanku yang mungkin tak penting untukmu ini???

Mungkinkah suatu saat nanti kita bisa bersatu dengan segala perbedaan yang ada????

Apakah itu mungkin???

Aku terus bertanya2…

Dan aku tetap terus berharap…

Suatu hari kau datang

Untukku…

Masih dengan segala perbedaan itu ataupun tidak aku tak peduli..

Yang terpenting kau hadir untukku..

IN THIS NEW PLACE,MAY I FIND A NEW LOVE THEN

My highschool story has over now

There’s still some memories about you remains in my head

Before our last National Examination,we all prayed together that we would pass that examination successfully.

We met in the middle of the crowded..

We prayed for each other best and shaked our hands.

You smiled so brightly,..

Ommo..what was I supposed to do then?

You were so adorable in my eyes,even in the urgent situation like that..

Two months had passed since the National examination

The graduation day was coming..

I was very proud of you standing in the stage as the best social student..

I was touched and sad that I couldn’t be in the same stage as you.

You’re so smart and I’m just low..

How far our difference was..

Then I was accepted in the different college from you.

Hmm..It was iritating that I couldn’t go in the same school as you anymore..

But,it’s okay with that..

This one sided love wouldn’t grow any further then.

Goodbye then

Go on your way and I gotta go on my own way too..

R**

A Day Before Christmas

I’m annoyed to death,coming to my highschool alone.

What I’ve been thinking is having fun today whatever gonna happen,.After taking the yearbook,me and Dara shared our own life’s story in our campus,.

Laughing,remembering what we were several months ago compared to what we are now.How sad I feel,remember that  I’m no longer high school student.

Chunnie,..Lets call him just like that,.Better than I mention his real name.

Embarassing If I remember that I’m just a stupid jerk who like him a lot,. TT

Not wanting to bother his life,I didn’t even try to get closer to him in that 3 years.I keep liking and admiring him in my way until now.

Spending  time with our beloved friend,no matter how long it takes time is not a waste at all.I really treasured it a lot.

Me and Dara had real fun,eating our fave food in this town just like our past that we did.Aigoo,.

Stomach is already full with food and kelapa muda,.Time to continue walking fun,.

Entering that dept store I didn’t notice him at first,.

It’s kinda strange that my heartbeat became faster and faster,.I thought it’s all because of the food,.

But,…tadaaaa,.here is the main factor making my heart beat faster.That creature,standing right in front of me,smilling so brightly and say hy to me,.

Helooo,.anggi,.wake up,.

What did he say?He asked if I had a holiday?aaaa,.

Feels like he’s changed a bit softer and cooler than before,.Thanks God,.he greet me,.Grabbed his own hand and we shaked our hands,.ahaha,.I’m just so sooo nervous,..

God,.what is it,??I’m just thinking of him,in Bintaro or not he keep appearing in my every single mind,.And now,all of sudden,.that “R” appears in front of me,.

I really appreciate it,.A LOT,.

Really cannot forget his sweetest smile,.I’m sure!!

Really cannot be normal and turn into idiot when he’s right in front of me,.Thats absolutely true!!

Really really reaaaalllllyyyyyyyyy  like him whoever else I like,.I can guarantee it!!

Really wanna have a funny boyfriend like him,.Olalaaa,.I don’t know!!

Keep fighting for my best things to come to me,.I always hope he’ll be one of my best,.

Sure or not,believe or not,hope it or not,.Today was really wonderfull!!,.

That sudden meeting,although it was really a very short conversation,greeting and nervous at all,.I really appreciate it,.

Thanks God for today,.I’m so soooo happy,.

It’s a day before Christmas that I met him,seeing he smiled to me,.What a wonderful day,God,.

**C*Y

WHEN MY HEART IS BROKEN

Nothing I thought before,.

Nothing I could guess before,.

Holding my cellphone is really heavy,.

Seeing what status on my facebook home,.

It’s hard,.It hurts me,.

I couldn’t bear it

The happiness that just came to me several times ago was just fake at all.

No more  hope,.no more happiness

And no more dream of what I’m gonna have to you,.

This feeling was hurt..

This feeling was just a trash for you,.

You pushed me away.,

You broke my heart into pieces that couldn’t be united after all.

You don’t even know do you?

That now I’m crying,.

Now I’m sad, thinking of you and what your condition now,.

Forgive me for my feeling to you..

Forgive me for my stupidities to you.,

Forgive me, you don’t even know I’m existing you in my life story,.

It’s time,..,.

Time to erase all my feeling for you,.

Time to close my heart for you after this,.

And time to give another better person come to me and will replace you.

Thanks for all the colours that you had given to my life, though you didn’t realize what you did.

It really really hurts and has to over now,.

I’m really sorry,……

Dear  R** :

You’re so far,.

I love you, but you love someone else..

Thanks for the way you did and hurt me,.

Thanks and I’m really sorry for everything,.

Damn I Love You

How you treat me

How you hurt me

It doesn’t change my love for you

You don’t consider me around

You never talk to me like others do

You never greet  or call me

How cold you are

How suck the things that you do to me

There’s a time when I should give up loving you

That’s a time when I’m gone after all this time through

Damn I love you..

And I keep repeating the mistake I created from the very beginning

I came back to the black track where you always ignore me,never consider me all the time

I came back loving a cold hearted bastard.you..

How can you just keep silent like that?

Hey,I’m here If you have time to stare at me at least once

I’m here If you wanna know how is the real me

But,you never wanna do that

Even for a smile or greeting,that’s really expensive for me to get it from you..

And until now..

I’m here,standing at the crossed road where you don’t even wanna pass

I’m here in my own,having my own pain you grew since the first meeting

While you walk away to the place where I don’t belong